So not long after my first date with Tony, he asked to meet again. Although our first date went well. I wasn’t too sure what to think of it all, but I did know he’s worth a go.I didn’t feel nervous seeing him again. There wasn’t a spark/ excitement. I wouldn’t say a chore, but more like seeing a friend.

As I got a table at the pub, I saw this guy smiling at me. I smiled back as he studied me with his eyes. At this moment I knew I wasn’t completely into Tony.

Sitting in the corner talking and cuddling whilst tourists were looking in confusing (interracial couples must be new to them). Tony invited me to his the following weekend. At this point I knew he meant sex. I naturally did what I do, tease! I offered to clean his oven. We made into some foreplay joke. I found him attractive, but I have more than enough numbers on my mobile to call. Plus I don’t want that anymore. It’s a lonely place to be, especially as a girl, no matter how lady like you appear outside the bedroom! You find that out sooner or later.

Date no3 at his house. TV, a bottle of wine, cuddles on the sofa! We even cooked dinner together. I cleaned his oven as promised. He thought I was joking, but I always deliver ;-).

We also had ‘desert’, decent ‘desert’. This is what I wanted. He’s a great guy, no bull,  good conversation. Amazing blue eyes. Someone I can take home to the parents, if/when the time comes. So why can’t I just be happy with it? I just can’t settle. I figured out if rather go through another 5 years of casual flings, good dates with disappointed follow ups till finding someone I’m really into.

I don’t care about his status, I just need that spark. The butterflies in my stomach when I see him approaching. The smile when ever I talk about him or see his name appear on my phone. Oh and it helps if it’s 99% mutual too and they ACTUALLY want to date you!

The only thing is, how do I end it?